Do you feel that you owe all of your family members something? If the answer is no, then you have to ask yourself why you’re lending them money in the first place. We generally don’t start topics out on such a “negative’ point of view, but the truth is that you probably can’t afford to just lend money out to anyone that says that they need money. You have to think about what’s going to be best for you and your family. Do you have a financial blueprint already? If not, this is one of the top things that you need to have set up right away. You can’t go anywhere into the future unless you know what you’re supposed to be doing when you get there. It might sound weird, because other people aren’t talking about such things with you. But you have to remember that peoples personal finance education can be very lacking. They might not know that it’s best to write down these types of ideas. It can be difficult to figure all of these things out when you have other stresses going on at the same time.
This isn’t the say that you shouldn’t be kind to your relatives when they come looking for money. However, we would caution to be very careful and think about what they need the money for, as how they’re really living their lives. They may be in a different lifestyle than you, one that you do not approve of. If you’re going to loan relatives money, there are a few tips that we think you ought to keep in mind.
First and foremost, you need to work out the terms and preferably get them into writing of some kind. Writing means that you are being serious, and your relative will know that. They will not be able to call you later and just tell you that they didn’t’ feel like holding up their end of the bargain. That is cruel and unfair to you, because you went out of your way to loan them money. If you’re feeling drained because people keep asking you for money, you might want to remind them that you too are a woman/man with struggles and hardships, and nobody is breaking their legs to take care of you. Setting boundaries is also helpful for the relative in question. They are never going to be able to take care of themselves until they realize the power of money. You can’t keep bailing them out of tough binds.
This brings us to the next point, which is to basically realize that within everyone there is a “fool” and a “king”. The King wants to speak, and will speak …if you speak to the King. However if you speak to the fool…well, the fool will also be more than happy to answer. It’s something that you have to think on and reflect upon when people are hassling you. Just because you have a good job and a steady income doesn’t mean that you can treat people any type of way.
We think that a relationship is a good thing, even though the relationship can be abusive in their own way. Be sure to treat all of your relationships with respect. Even though it might hurt to keep telling your relatives no, they will get the hint in good time. They also will start borrowing your money and treating it with respect.
That’s the bottom line here when it comes to loaning money to your relatives. You need to l0ook at how they’re treating you. If they continue to treat you badly, then you need to move on and avoid giving them money.
Sometimes they will consider things to be emergencies when they really aren’t. As touched upon in one of our previous articles, we do not believe that Christmas is a financial emergency. In addition,we also don’t think that birthdays need large presents either. You will need to realize that your recipient will appreciate the fact that you were thinking about them, and that’s it.
Overall, it’s a matter of defining the people in your life. If you aren’t comfortable with loaning the money to your relatives, do everyone a favor: don’t loan them the money at all! Speak up so that they realize that they cannot go to you. It will help you keep your own financial blueprint solid, which is really the best thing anyway.